Running
by JAGNikJen
Summary: Robin is haunted by guilt and goes running to forget. Written for the Campfire Tales challenge at the Robin Appreciation Society at LiveJournal.


Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, Robin, Marian, Isabella, et al. I've earned nothing but the pleasure in the writing and the possibility of a nice comment or two.

~*~*~

**Running**

Robin couldn't stop running.

His damp tunic clung to his upper body and chafed his sides. Sweat soaked his hair and trickled down his face and neck.

Isabella's words churned through his brain like a stormy sea...

_...a farmhouse, a few animals, children, happiness..._

He hadn't lied when he'd said it sounded perfect. It had.

He hadn't lied when he'd said that, for him, it would always be just a dream. It would be.

He hadn't lied when he'd said that sometimes he hated being Robin Hood. Sometimes, he did.

But when he'd told her he just wanted to forget...well, that _was_ a lie. He wasn't ready to forget. Not yet.

Marian had been the dream that kept him alive in the Holy Land.

When he'd returned, the little time they'd been able to steal had kept him encouraged while serving king and country from the forest.

And only her memory and the promise he'd made to her on their wedding day had kept him going since her death.

_...two boys and two girls...boys with your strength..._

Isabella's face swam before his mind's eye, the fire in her eyes and the wonder on her face as she found true pleasure for the first time. A spark of warmth shot through him.

_No!_

Robin ran harder and faster until his legs and lungs burned, and his sides ached.

Until he gasped for breath.

Until he tripped on a tree root and went sprawling to the forest floor.

His breath whooshed out of him and he just lay there, trying to catch his breath. He rested his forehead in the crook of one arm and squeezed his eyes tight. His heart ached for his wife...his love...

He sobbed silently. The spells came less often, but they still came. And he could do little but give in and allow his sadness to purge itself. But he was tired of crying and tired of hurting; he was just so damned tired.

"Robin, my love, why do you weep so?"

Robin jerked onto his back, looked up.

A bluish-white apparition floated above the ground.

He scrambled to his feet, his heart pounding.

"Marian? That cannot be you—there are no such things as ghosts."

Robin moved toward her, arms outstretched, but she didn't move, and his hands passed through her being, warmth surrounding his arms.

He stepped back, surprised. He expected cold, not warmth.

She smiled and said, "And, yet, here I am."

Robin shook his head. "It cannot be."

"Why not? You are not asleep."

"No, I didn't think so, but..."

She floated toward him. "But nothing. It is me, Robin. I have been haunted by your pain, and I've come to ease your suffering."

Robin sat and slung his arms around his knees, clasping his hands together. He hung his head. "I need you, Marian." He pinched his eyes against his tears. "I struggle to carry on. Losing you still hurts. And yet days go by that I forget to think about you, and then I hate myself for forgetting." His voice broke with tears.

Marian enveloped Robin in her essence, and he felt the warmth again. It felt nice, good. He sighed.

"Do not hate yourself, my love. It is right and proper that you think of me less and less. It _is_ true that time heals all wounds."

"I do not want to forget. I _love_ you."

She cradled his head against her breast and caressed his head, brushing his still-damp hair away from his face. "And I love you. We will carry our love for each other forever. But someday, peace and prosperity will return to England and you will be given your life back. And when that day comes, you will want to take a wife and have children. The living must live, Robin."

"_No._ "

"Oh, Robin..." She stroked his scruffy cheek.

He choked on another sob, burrowing into her warmth.

"Shh..." She rocked him as she would a distressed child, murmuring sweet nothings. "I am here...."

They sat for a long time until Robin cried himself out and fell asleep in her arms.

Robin stirred. It was still dark out.

"You are still here," Robin said, stretching and moving out of her essence.

"You still needed me," she said with a smile. "Did you sleep well?"

He thought a moment and then nodded. "Better than I have in ages."

"I'm glad. Now tell me, are there no women here in Nottinghamshire worthy of you, my love?"

Isabella flashed through his mind. He remained silent but didn't meet her gaze.

"So there are...and why have you not pursued a relationship with any of them?"

Robin hung his head.

"Ah...so you have. Does she care for you as well?"

"Not anymore." Whatever spark of feeling Isabella felt for him had been crushed out by his refusal to run away with her.

"Surely, whatever you have done is not so terrible that she cannot forgive you," Marian said.

What could he say about what really transpired between Isabella and himself? Marian had been innocent in that respect. "I... took advantage of her."

"Robin, I know you better than that. You do not take _advantage_ of women who do not want to be taken advantage of. Had you ever tried to take advantage of me, I would have dragged you off to the nearest barn or hidey-hole in the forest and let you."

Robin's head shot up. "_What?_"

Marian laughed. "Did you never realize?"

Robin shook his head. "Marian, do you know what you're saying?"

"Of course. And considering what has happened, I wish I'd been bolder. To never have...lain...with you is something I regret terribly, for both of us."

After a moment of quiet, Marian said, "Tell me about her."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I do not wish to."

"You are stirred by her."

Robin jerked his gaze to hers. "Why do you say that?"

"Because if she meant nothing to you, you would not be so reticent with me."

"I _cannot_ have feelings for her," Robin barked.

"But you already do. Please do not deny yourself a chance at happiness, for love."

"It is a betrayal."

"Robin, you cannot betray the dead. And I _am_ dead. But you are alive, and you must live. Promise me, Robin. Promise me that you will live..."

Robin raked a hand through his hair and hung his head. "I will try, Marian. For you."

"You must do it for yourself, Robin. You deserve happiness and love."

Marian floated closer and pressed her lips against Robin's. He marveled at the feeling.

"Now, my love, you must get back to the camp. Dawn will be upon us soon."

"And where will you go, Marian?" Robin asked.

Warm air swirled around him, starting at his feet and whirling up and around his body, ruffling his hair as it went.

She was gone.

Robin felt lighter than he had in a while. He wasn't ready to pursue happiness or new love just yet, but he could get through another day or two or three....

He glanced up and then headed back to camp.


End file.
